As I sit here, thinking about all that I have to do, to get ready for Lulu's birthday party tomorrow, I think, "how many times have I said I won't do anymore parties here, at our house?". Let's see, 6 kids, with one who's 23, 19, 16, 15, 10 and almost 7. How many parties is that in their lives? Yeah, I am afraid to add it up. I'd save the streamers and party decorations if they didn't have so much fun, and play "who can jump the highest to rip down the streamers" game, afterwards.
Originally, Lulu (Hayden to her friends and classmates) asked me if she could only invite girls to her party. I said yes, and normally, I like to include the "whole class" because there's always that one kid who never gets to have fun. I always think about that..but knowing that she's a little introverted, (unlike her mother, of course) I agreed to only invite girls. When I say that God has a sense of humor, I'm witness, first hand, because when I filled out her invitations, I had my old phone number listed as the contact number, for R.S.V.P. purposes. Well, since filling them out a month ago, I've switched phone carriers, and wasn't able to bring my old number with me, so I have a new number, and it only came to mind to me, 4 days ago. I had the idea of sending her to school with a friendly "Shopkins" (her favorite toys) announcement, adding that my number had changed, and if you'd like to R.S.V.P. for the party, please make note of the new number. That was a "quick fix" or as the saying goes, "the Easy button". Not only did Lulu take them to school and hand them out to the 8 girls invited already, but she also gave them to other friends, in a last minute "popularity high", including boys! So, now I have parents calling and texting me, to R.S.V.P., saying they got a piece of paper, but no address on it.
Did I mention that God has a sense of humor? I am not kidding..I know he has popcorn, kicked back, watching me and my "Lucille Ball" life, laughing his ass off. (HA!)
So, now my day not only entails getting ready for the party tomorrow, but buying more prizes, (for boys), and finding a less violent way to break open the pinata. I had a broken broom stick, but with boys invited, you know that will end up badly. Blood and teeth all over the place..because boys play "ROUGH". I know, because I have 4 of them.
Well, here's to a good Friday, and the good thing about having 6 kids, is that if no kids show up for a birthday party, at least we have the party right here! :-)
x
I love having a day off from work, but is it just me that I just don't feel like doing anything but relaxing all day?
I'm so exhausted..so many things to deal with lately, and they keep my head spinning, so when I can sit and relax, and meditate without the humming, (haha) I will do it. I did today. So much going on here. A 19 year old daughter who isn't working and not working and someone called CPS on us last week, saying all of the kids are "depressed". (LOL) Not true, but I almost know who it was, and I guess it was a blessing in disguise because the plan backfired on that person. The CPS worker saw that the kids are in a state of "healing"...as is the whole house. We're all getting over that storm that hit our house last year, and part of this year. Just crippling..but it's over now and we're trying to work things out. TRYING. Key words..LOL.
Nobody said marriage was supposed to end, if you feel that the person you're with, is sick..because If my memory serves me right, doesn't it state that in the VOWS? In SICKNESS and in health? I thought so. ;-) So, I'm not giving up..so many negatives to splitting up, compared to working things out. I mean, a mile list of things..
One thing is different from last time, though..I'm independent now, and will never take any shit from any man, or be mistreated again, for the rest of my life. He knows this now, and is a different man. I think once we, as women, grow our "balls" and let our voice be heard, then we finally get treated better.
That's my opinion..or my two cents..and why I blog... ;-)
As most who know me know, my husband was let go from his job, of 15 years, as a drug chain retail Manager. He was District Manager trained, and ready for the new job, when the opening came up, no matter where it was. Well, I believe that God has a good sense of humor, and he didn't want us to move, or he knew that the job was physically and emotionally draining my husband. He was never home, and when he was, he was so drained, that he slept or was the equivalent to a vegetable, sitting on the couch, watching but so many documentaries on the Discovery channel, through Netflix. We had lost us in the process. I say "us" because when you have 6 kids, 5 still at home, you have no time for yourselves..or you make sure that you make time for yourselves. I started my Charity, late in 2014, and we were actually just healing from his Mother being here for 6 months, getting Cancer treatments near us, so I could take care of her. Just typing that, I think "What in the world was I thinking that I could juggle all of that and our marriage not hurt from it?!!"
Well, it did, and late January, Casey started experiencing eye pain in his right eye. He already had back issues that were from an injury he sustained on the job, so the eye was an added bonus. He couldn't see well out of it, and almost like he was losing his sight. He asked his boss about getting it looked at, and then asked about his back again, and the next thing we know, 2 weeks later he was fired. 15 years, and fired..just like that. Now, this is a company who were recently acquired by another company, and it was, I'm guessing, business mistakes, such as firing him, that would attribute to the company going downhill. What dummies..fire the most amazing Manager they ever knew. 15 years of blood, sweat, and tears, and sleeping overnight to GET the work done. And did I mention he was one of the last couple of managers to get salary??? That meant that he could work 100 hours in a week and still get the same amount of pay. So, when they fired him, no bonus, no compensation for lost wages, no nothing...so I sit here, after working, and write, as I'm now the breadwinner, and my husband who was the alpha male, is now the best Mr. Mom I've ever known in my life. He has been depressed, and quite frankly, I don't know anyone else, had they been in his shoes, who wouldn't be. I think he's handled it better than me..and that's saying a lot.
Let me just start by saying that
we're in this life, once. You don't get second chances, or get to turn around
and "right" a mistake. (I know I am singing Eminem in my head..you
only get one shot, one chance, one opportunity) Eminem is a smart man...he's right.
I'll
start by telling you a little about myself..to those who don't know me.
I'm 45, Mom to 6 beautiful children..we were blessed with 4 boys and 2 girls.
My oldest is from my first marriage, and that one didn't work out, because he
liked men, and so did I. Sorry, keeping it real, here..;-) We are still
very good friends, and I love him dearly..he gave me a beautiful baby boy,
who's now 23, and doesn't fit on my lap anymore.
I have been married, since, in 1996, to my current husband, Casey, who I met at
a bar in Norfolk. Quarter draft night, (beer), lived alone, my first one
night stand, (feeling reckless at the time), and 20 years later,
he hasn't gone home, so my last one night stand. If you've heard through the
grapevine, you've heard that we're having marital problems. That's true, but
give me any couple with 5 children at home, (3 of them teenagers) and let them
tell me to my face that they don't have problems, and I'll call them
neglectful, or a liar. If you have 2, that's cute..not the same, at all. (haha)
We have
been through some times, that were put into place to destroy us, and yet we
still stand. I do know that when I said my vows, all of those years ago,
I took them seriously. It was "in sickness and in health, good times
or bad, until death do us part" and I'm not dying, and neither is he. ;-) Too
many couples nowadays think that its "in health and if its sickness, I can
do what my (single) friends tell me to do, and walk away". Wrong.
If you ask anyone who knows me, they'll tell you that I wear my "heart on
my sleeve" and will help anyone who needs it, at the drop of a dime. I am
that woman. I don't pre-judge where you have been or what you've been
through.. If you're nice to me, I'm nice to you..it's that simple. I'm
extremely nerdy, and enjoy playing video games, and its what kept us together
for 20 years. We're gamers..my husband and I. I am that Mom..#692 on
Modern Warfare 3, by Call of Duty. Only on the XBox 360..I haven't played
Advanced Warfare that much, yet. I'm still practicing.. I'm also
into old school rap, and almost anything I can dance to...that's another love
of mine. Love Air Hockey, (have many 1st place ribbons from summer fun
camp, when I was a kid..) Roller Skating, and almost anything outside..from
playing "hot potato" with the kids outside, to throwing a ball
around. These days are gone too fast, when they're little..I try to cherish
them as much as I can. I am the Mom who takes them to the pool, the beach, or
the carnival, as Dad stays at home, because he's an introvert. Borderline
social anxiety, or just doesn't like socializing..I"m complete opposite,
as you can tell. My parents were the same way..my Dad would take us
places, and my Mom would stay at home, (the introvert) but only to
"clean", she'd say..I know better, now. She also liked her
quiet time...I get it now that I'm a parent. I don't get any quiet time,
though..not even the bathroom. I know that most Moms can understand that..
;-)
My Mom's family is from here, but moved all over the World, as my late
Grandfather, her Dad, was in the Air Force. That's how my Mom met my Dad..
He was also Air Force, stationed at Langley Air Force base, here in
Virginia. Dad's from Boston, (Quincy), and I'd like to think I'm a lot
like him. He will tell the most interesting stories, from his life, but
then tell you he's joking. My Dad used to point out anyone in the mall, though,
and ask if we saw that person, and when we said "yes", he'd begin to
tell us that he knew them, and that if he needed to borrow $1000, they'd loan
it to him. I never found out if that was true or not.. I only have
one sister, who is 5 years younger, who I love with all of my heart and soul,
but who doesn't have any children yet, so can't relate to the struggles of
having 6, let alone, 1. No babysitters, no breaks, no vacations to Nags
Head every summer, with our Mom and Dad. She will make a good Mother someday,
and only then, she'll get our struggles. She means well, though, and I'm
sure that anyone with a sibling without children yet, can relate.
Now let me tell you a little about our children. We have: Brennon, from
my first marriage, age 23. He's had a ton of eye surgeries and in the
end, is a survivor of a kid. He's an amazing guitar player, has an amazing
girlfriend of 5 years, (Kayla). They live together, and are waiting for
marriage and kids until the time is right. Smart kids..I swear. I met Casey (my
husband) when Brennon was 2. I think that was the second thing I said to
him.."Hi, I"m Valerie. I am a single Mom to a little boy".
Seriously, that's the first things I would say to a guy I met for the first
time..if they didn't like it, they could run..haha. I had a lot of guys run
before Casey..
Our first child together, is our child #2. Haileigh. She's 19, very
intelligent, beautiful, and a hippy in the wrong generation. She loves nature,
photography, and pretty flowers, and has a passion for both, and writing.
Haileigh is also an introvert, like her Dad, and just as stubborn as him,
sometimes, making it like two magnets repelling off of each other. They
will get along when she's older, I keep telling myself. My Dad and I were the
same way...
Connor is our 3rd child, and he's 16, about 6'3" tall, and the boy is not
done growing. He gets his height from my Dad's side of the family..my
Grandfather was 6'5" when he passed away a few years ago. Very tall genes
on that side. Connor is a lover, not a fighter, loves animals, and hates
school, (trying to fight the truancy laws, currently..haha) and aspires to be a
Zoologist for his career. He is an animal whisperer.
Casey, Jr., 15, is with his father's namesake, more like me. He's a little of
both of us, (the irony!) and is very sociable when he needs to be. He also
doesn't like school, so like Connor, is trying to out-wit the truancy rules and
regulations for school. ;-) Casey is very intelligent, like the rest of them,
but this is a kid who was told "no internet" one night, so he hacked
our cable modem, and changed the password, with our amazement. I couldn't be
mad at him, because I was too impressed!
Blake is our 10 year old son. After Casey Jr, I was told that I had
endometriosis so bad, that we couldn't have anymore kids, even if we tried, so
that was, essentially, our green light. We moved back to Virginia in 2004, and
was pregnant with Blake, born October 17, 2005. He is Mama's boy, very close to
me, and very much like me. His personality is that of Connor, mixed with
a little bit of me. He aspires to do whatever Connor does, as he's his idol.
If Connor likes a song, then so does Blake. If Connor likes a show, then
so does Blake. He really is a very intelligent kid, and in the gifted program
at school. Blake is the kid who's fun to aggrivate..
Hayden is our big surprise baby. Just as we were having some bad money
and marital problems, I found out that I was pregnant, once again. Haileigh now
has a little sister, like she wanted, Hayden, almost 7 years old. When I was
about 3 months pregnant, Casey was trying to cheer me up about it all, and told
me that in my belly was our little "Lulu". That nickname just
stuck and its hard to believe that our baby is almost 7. She is sassy,
intelligent, and such an "old soul". If you've ever seen the
movie in the 80's called "Cocoon", she's the little New Yorker
woman..talks with a sass..its so funny to listen to her, sometimes. She's the
little girl who didn't want to potty train until she was 5, and the same little
girl who was referred for "special" services at school, suggesting
that she was slower than most kids her age in Kindergarten. I said wait until
she took off, and this year, she had the most amazing teacher, who just
advanced her on every level. She's now very independent and just loves school,
and everything it has to offer. I know that will change once she gets to middle
and high school..haha.
Well, that's all of our kids, unless we adopt someday. I really wish we had a bigger house because I am everyone's "Mom"..kid's friends, neighbor's kids..they all love me, even when my own could sell me on Craigslist. I will be updating this every day, and if you have
anything you want me to write about or any questions, let me know! :-) Thanks
for reading!!!!!!! Welcome to my new journey!!!!!!!
I'll start by telling you a little about myself..to those who don't know me.
I'm 45, Mom to 6 beautiful children..we were blessed with 4 boys and 2 girls. My oldest is from my first marriage, and that one didn't work out, because he liked men, and so did I. Sorry, keeping it real, here..;-) We are still very good friends, and I love him dearly..he gave me a beautiful baby boy, who's now 23, and doesn't fit on my lap anymore.
I have been married, since, in 1996, to my current husband, Casey, who I met at a bar in Norfolk. Quarter draft night, (beer), lived alone, my first one night stand, (feeling reckless at the time), and 20 years later, he hasn't gone home, so my last one night stand. If you've heard through the grapevine, you've heard that we're having marital problems. That's true, but give me any couple with 5 children at home, (3 of them teenagers) and let them tell me to my face that they don't have problems, and I'll call them neglectful, or a liar. If you have 2, that's cute..not the same, at all. (haha)
We have been through some times, that were put into place to destroy us, and yet we still stand. I do know that when I said my vows, all of those years ago, I took them seriously. It was "in sickness and in health, good times or bad, until death do us part" and I'm not dying, and neither is he. ;-) Too many couples nowadays think that its "in health and if its sickness, I can do what my (single) friends tell me to do, and walk away". Wrong.
If you ask anyone who knows me, they'll tell you that I wear my "heart on my sleeve" and will help anyone who needs it, at the drop of a dime. I am that woman. I don't pre-judge where you have been or what you've been through.. If you're nice to me, I'm nice to you..it's that simple. I'm extremely nerdy, and enjoy playing video games, and its what kept us together for 20 years. We're gamers..my husband and I. I am that Mom..#692 on Modern Warfare 3, by Call of Duty. Only on the XBox 360..I haven't played Advanced Warfare that much, yet. I'm still practicing.. I'm also into old school rap, and almost anything I can dance to...that's another love of mine. Love Air Hockey, (have many 1st place ribbons from summer fun camp, when I was a kid..) Roller Skating, and almost anything outside..from playing "hot potato" with the kids outside, to throwing a ball around. These days are gone too fast, when they're little..I try to cherish them as much as I can. I am the Mom who takes them to the pool, the beach, or the carnival, as Dad stays at home, because he's an introvert. Borderline social anxiety, or just doesn't like socializing..I"m complete opposite, as you can tell. My parents were the same way..my Dad would take us places, and my Mom would stay at home, (the introvert) but only to "clean", she'd say..I know better, now. She also liked her quiet time...I get it now that I'm a parent. I don't get any quiet time, though..not even the bathroom. I know that most Moms can understand that.. ;-)
My Mom's family is from here, but moved all over the World, as my late Grandfather, her Dad, was in the Air Force. That's how my Mom met my Dad.. He was also Air Force, stationed at Langley Air Force base, here in Virginia. Dad's from Boston, (Quincy), and I'd like to think I'm a lot like him. He will tell the most interesting stories, from his life, but then tell you he's joking. My Dad used to point out anyone in the mall, though, and ask if we saw that person, and when we said "yes", he'd begin to tell us that he knew them, and that if he needed to borrow $1000, they'd loan it to him. I never found out if that was true or not.. I only have one sister, who is 5 years younger, who I love with all of my heart and soul, but who doesn't have any children yet, so can't relate to the struggles of having 6, let alone, 1. No babysitters, no breaks, no vacations to Nags Head every summer, with our Mom and Dad. She will make a good Mother someday, and only then, she'll get our struggles. She means well, though, and I'm sure that anyone with a sibling without children yet, can relate.
Now let me tell you a little about our children. We have: Brennon, from my first marriage, age 23. He's had a ton of eye surgeries and in the end, is a survivor of a kid. He's an amazing guitar player, has an amazing girlfriend of 5 years, (Kayla). They live together, and are waiting for marriage and kids until the time is right. Smart kids..I swear. I met Casey (my husband) when Brennon was 2. I think that was the second thing I said to him.."Hi, I"m Valerie. I am a single Mom to a little boy".
Seriously, that's the first things I would say to a guy I met for the first time..if they didn't like it, they could run..haha. I had a lot of guys run before Casey..
Our first child together, is our child #2. Haileigh. She's 19, very intelligent, beautiful, and a hippy in the wrong generation. She loves nature, photography, and pretty flowers, and has a passion for both, and writing. Haileigh is also an introvert, like her Dad, and just as stubborn as him, sometimes, making it like two magnets repelling off of each other. They will get along when she's older, I keep telling myself. My Dad and I were the same way...
Connor is our 3rd child, and he's 16, about 6'3" tall, and the boy is not done growing. He gets his height from my Dad's side of the family..my Grandfather was 6'5" when he passed away a few years ago. Very tall genes on that side. Connor is a lover, not a fighter, loves animals, and hates school, (trying to fight the truancy laws, currently..haha) and aspires to be a Zoologist for his career. He is an animal whisperer.
Casey, Jr., 15, is with his father's namesake, more like me. He's a little of both of us, (the irony!) and is very sociable when he needs to be. He also doesn't like school, so like Connor, is trying to out-wit the truancy rules and regulations for school. ;-) Casey is very intelligent, like the rest of them, but this is a kid who was told "no internet" one night, so he hacked our cable modem, and changed the password, with our amazement. I couldn't be mad at him, because I was too impressed!
Blake is our 10 year old son. After Casey Jr, I was told that I had endometriosis so bad, that we couldn't have anymore kids, even if we tried, so that was, essentially, our green light. We moved back to Virginia in 2004, and was pregnant with Blake, born October 17, 2005. He is Mama's boy, very close to me, and very much like me. His personality is that of Connor, mixed with a little bit of me. He aspires to do whatever Connor does, as he's his idol. If Connor likes a song, then so does Blake. If Connor likes a show, then so does Blake. He really is a very intelligent kid, and in the gifted program at school. Blake is the kid who's fun to aggrivate..
Hayden is our big surprise baby. Just as we were having some bad money and marital problems, I found out that I was pregnant, once again. Haileigh now has a little sister, like she wanted, Hayden, almost 7 years old. When I was about 3 months pregnant, Casey was trying to cheer me up about it all, and told me that in my belly was our little "Lulu". That nickname just stuck and its hard to believe that our baby is almost 7. She is sassy, intelligent, and such an "old soul". If you've ever seen the movie in the 80's called "Cocoon", she's the little New Yorker woman..talks with a sass..its so funny to listen to her, sometimes. She's the little girl who didn't want to potty train until she was 5, and the same little girl who was referred for "special" services at school, suggesting that she was slower than most kids her age in Kindergarten. I said wait until she took off, and this year, she had the most amazing teacher, who just advanced her on every level. She's now very independent and just loves school, and everything it has to offer. I know that will change once she gets to middle and high school..haha.
Sorry that took so long..I will be updating this every day, and if you have anything you want me to write about or any questions, let me know! :-) Thanks for reading!!!!!!!
